Living with Depression (by Iyah Ricio)

Living with Depression
(by Iyah Ricio)

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I want to share with you something that most of us experienced, which could possibly serious and some of us do not understand this one. This is one of the issues affecting mostly teens, which is depression. This is to raise awareness to everyone, especially those who are far from their children. I will not be so scientific with this one, but I can share on what it can do on oneself.

According to American Psychiatric Association, depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person’s ability to function at work and at home. As an additional, depression is different from sadness. Sadness is a normal reaction to something like low grades or someone you dearly loved has died. But if this sadness is repetitive, and affects your daily activities, that’s the time that you can check with a specialist to determine if it’s depression.

The possible causes of depression are your personality itself, the way you were brought up, the environment where a person grew up, genetics, and also your brain might be producing some chemicals that is unnecessary to make you feel depressed.

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Now that I have provided some information regarding depression, I want to share my own experience regarding this one.

I am the eldest daughter in our family. I became pregnant at 22 years old. I have worked after 3 years from graduation. The challenge for me was to take care of my daughter while I am working. Not only that, I have heard hurtful words from my own family which is making me down. I have worked for 2 non-voice centers or BPO which is far from what I have learned, which I don’t like but I need to support my child. I really want to do a lot of things which is to dance, travel and practice photography, which was not supported due to lack of funds to work on it. Also, calling me fat by the family members added to this. During my age of 25 to 27, I am thinking to do suicide and to kill myself because I feel that I am so worthless, I haven’t done anything that much. I can’t do what I want unlike my friends. I really came to a point why I am still living when I am not achieving or doing anything. Countless nights of crying, the feeling that you don’t want to do anything and sadness and the feeling of worthlessness due to the words and the things that I am unable to do, contributed to this one. It is hard when you cannot tell anyone what you feel, because there is always judgment on this one. I can’t also decide on what I need to do and what I can do. I also came to a point that I want to consult a specialist, to help me cope. But someone stopped me to do this and supported me along the way. That is the reason why I am still fighting to live. I still love my life, my family, my daughter and I want still to experience everything that I can while I am living. Prayers and support help a lot on this one. Also, I don’t want to have my daughter experience this one, like what I have experienced.

I consider myself lucky because I have support and still working on this one. Not all are strong enough to fight or to battle due to judgment, lack of support and knowledge. Most do suicide when they are unable to survive without any medical attention. This is also a shout out to all that are experiencing it now and to the families that might missed out this one on their kids, children. Please be aware and help each other to avoid this one.
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